emmelinepeachesreviews.com reviews the Maia Jessi Bullet
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I’m going to feel like a real sex toy granny at the moment but back in my day you’d spend £20 on a bullet that was battery powered, leaked at the seams, and wasn’t even guaranteed to get your rocks off.
Back in my day silicone toys were something we fought fiercely for; desperately trying to deter people from purchasing jelly or *grimaces* ‘realskin’ in order to try and get safer products more prevalent in the retail space.
Back in my day a rechargeable bullet cost £45+ and to have all of the extra features, such as waterproof play, a 1 year warranty, and a tasteful option for colours all bumped the price up further.
I am so glad we are not ‘back in my day’ anymore. (Also that sex toy granny thing might be a kink for someone, if so then I hope I got your heart racing a bit there).
The Maia Jessi Rechargeable Super Charged Mini Bullet Vibrator
The Maia Jessi Rechargeable Super Charged Mini Bullet Vibrator is a bullet that, at one time, I never thought I would see on the market but always hoped would appear.
This toy retails at a mere £20 and offers everything which, just a few years ago, would have been considered luxury.
The luxury is now commonplace and, much like cakes and dog ownership filtering down from the aristocracy to those of other economic positions, we can all celebrate this paradigm shift in the market.
The Maia Jessi Mini Bullet is an incredibly tasteful offering for a toy of its price range and accessibility level. Its box is a beautiful little thing – clean and sleek in design with social media tags on one side, specifications on the other, and some key product specifications on the back.
I mention this because, whether you care about product boxes or not, these elements of a toy can affect a person’s decision to purchase (or to present a toy as a gift) and the Maia Jessi Mini Bullet does well to sell itself. Which is good, because this is a toy you should totally buy.
The Maia Jessi Mini Bullet is 3 inches in length (2.5 of which are insertible) and 0.8 inches in diameter. Recently I reviewed a toy that pitched itself as ‘mini’ but which I really didn’t think hit the mark in terms of earning that descriptor. The Maia Jessi Mini Bullet totally gets to call itself mini and this toy can be easily slipped in between play mates/lovers during sex, close to the body when using other toys, in a harness for additional vibration, or in most bullet sleeves for pre-existing toys.
This toy is USB rechargeable and submersible for added play and ease of toy cleaning. Because this toy is waterproof initial users or sex toy beginners might be confused as to where to charge it. The prod-like charge cable you get with this toy is to be inserted in to the base of this toy (next to its button) where there is a very teeny tiny hole. Don’t be coy or gentle about getting it in there – really give it a firm shove. If in doubt, imagine it’s a play partner who likes it rough and go for the gold in terms of performance. Imagine a satisfied ‘Oh yeah!’ when you get it in and then charge away. Then question Emmeline Peaches’ sanity. Go on, I know you want to.
This toy is made from medical grade silicone which, in this instance is as firm as an ABS toy, sturdy and matte at its surface. Lubricate it, however, and this bullet becomes slick, smooth and something you may need to be a bit careful with if you tend to have clumsy hands (like myself). Grip can be hard when the water-based lube is applied.
This is mainly given to the fact that, even on its gentlest setting, this bullet is an absolute fucking powerhouse when it comes to its vibrations. I am not kidding you – this toy can put a We Vibe Tango to shame with how it rocks and rumbles upon its first press. These vibrations are penetrating, on the shuddering side of things but with a definite buzz to them which might deter some. This isn’t the irritated and high pitched buzz of old, however. It’s almost as if one of those first gen buzz toys had a night with a rumbly wand and this bullet was the final product.
It’s quite appealing, I can assure you, and I’ve even found myself climaxing with this bullet while casually sat writing this review with it nuzzled between my thighs (you know, for science).
The downside of this is that the ‘first press’ of power that you get from this bullet is its pinnacle. That’s right! This is one of those endlessly annoying bullets that puts its strongest of 3 continual vibration settings first and then gets gentler from there on.
I really do loathe this structure for toys and the fact that is has a single button for control means that if you do accidentally mis-press then you either have to filter through all 10 of the modes or turn it on and off again – both definite mood killers.
Thankfully the button is well-placed and not that hard to accidentally press but it is the biggest gripe I have with this otherwise really enjoyable bullet.
The patterns included are standard but offer enough variety to satisfy those who like to play a bit with their sex toy (I mean, it’s all part of the premise of a ‘toy’ after all, one could argue). I’m not really a pattern person but I did find some of them to have an appeal, especially the little ‘cha cha’ one, as I came to name it. If you buy this toy you will know the one.
The only other real downside I can offer up when it comes to this toy is the shape of it. A lot of people purchase bullet vibrators because they want to play around with pin-point precision. The most well-known of bullets offer this – giving a well-tapered tip for the occasion – but the Maia Jessi Mini Bullet has a rounded tip which isn’t quite as precise as some. I like this, because it means the sensation feels less sharp, but I know many others who will find themselves lamenting the way that this toy has omitted this design feature.
It’s all about personal preference, at the end of the day.
Despite my minor gripes the Maia Jessi Rechargeable Super Charged Mini Bullet Vibrator is a product that I never thought I’d see retail at such an accessible price on the market and I am so friggin’ grateful that toys like this how now moved over from ‘luxury’ to ‘mainstream’ in many regards.
You certainly won’t see me going full hipster-mode and shunning this vibrator for hopping out of the niche market and in to the orgy of the everyday and I highly recommend this little-bullet-that-can to anyone looking for a strong, safe offering to add to their play sessions.
Just beware of that early peak that it offers and maybe give feedback to Maia about how to order their vibrations. We’ve changed the landscape of the sex toy industry once, there’s no reason as to why we can’t do it again.
- People who like very compact toys.
- People looking for a partner-friendly vibe.
- People looking for an affordable luxury toy.
Do Not Recommend to:
- People who like pinpoint bullet tips.
- People who dislike single button designs.
- People who prefer gentle vibrations.
The Maia Jessi Rechargeable Super Charged Mini Bullet Vibrator was provided to me by Peepshowtoys in exchange for an honest review. Please use the affiliate links included to make purchases through them. That way I can afford to eat, and I’m quite fond of food.
- Maia Toys